Publisher: Wuchak June 23, 2021
_**Dull survival horror on a Caribbean island**_ A tourist bus on the Jamaican island of San Maria (fictitious) takes a group of vacationers to a supposedly real-life voodoo ritual deep in the woods under the moonlight. When the bus fails to start they have to travel by foot to the nearest abode while each member is horrifyingly removed from the equation. Despite the horror elements, “Zombie Island Massacre” (1984) is, at heart, a survival venture akin to the comic Adventure Into Fear #18 with the Man-Thing (1973); the story by Steve Gerber was called “A Question of Survival” and, like this film, involved survivors of a bus mishap traversing the jungle at night for succor. The key difference is that Gerber made sure to include engrossing human interest in his yarn while this movie unfortunately doesn’t. As a result, it’s tedious despite the great plot, authentic locations and decent main cast. To be fair, the story does finally perk up in the last act. Someone criticized the film on the grounds that there are “no zombies, gore, sex, action, or acting,” but there’s a zombie resurrection ritual in the first 20 minutes with plenty of gore; later on two tourists are impaled in a jungle pit and someone else gets his head lopped off. As for sex, the movie opens with a naked couple in their hotel room who have further shenanigans in a boat cabin; another couple messin’ around in the nighttime forest is also featured. As far as action goes, there’s enough for this kind of flick. In regards to the acting, the actors playing the protagonists Sandy, Joe, Paul, Steve, Connie and Mr. Whitney are competent enough. The problem is the unimaginative script doesn’t give them much dimension. While she doesn’t do anything for me personally, Rita Jenrette (Sandy) is highlighted on the female front. Meanwhile Diane Clayre Holub (Connie) runs a distant second. There are a couple notable peripherals as well, but the director was unskilled in taking advantage of feminine resources (not talkin’ ’bout nudity or raunch). The movie runs 1 hour, 25 minutes, and was shot in Jamaica. GRADE: C/C-

Publisher: portnoyz May 31, 2025
Another Troma Team release. Not as entertaining as Return to Nuke 'em High or the Toxic Avenger but more so than Blood Hook. The movie doesn't go off the deep end like some of the others. It's light on the titular zombies; the gore is adequate if not excessive. Nudity/sex is roughly average for R-rated Troma fare.